K-Pop had baby-sitting duty today and took K-bao out in the afternoon for a leisurely stroll by the water, where she looked out on the Bay and watched the boats sail by. Strangers walked by and nodded and smiled approvingly as K-Pop pointed out the birds and the fishes. Unfortunately K-bao either did not share their sentiments or else inherited K-Pop's short-term memory, for when it came time for feeding and bedtime, any sense of appreciation seems to have been long forgotten.
First, K-bao refused to settle down and take her bottle unless K-Pop made non-stop Zulu clucking sounds throughout, during which time she would stare at Daddy's mouth and swallow absent-mindedly. No cluck, no swallow. By the time the bottle was done, K-Pops' jaw was aching and his lips blue.
Second, K-bao magnanimously presented her Dad with...wait for it...three dirty diapers in less than 15 minutes, all while taking said bottle. Surely this is a record of some kind. And in one case - diaper #2 - the stench was so foul that K-bao herself gagged mid-suck and could not continue. Took a deep breath and literally started choking on her milk. Of course, given prior experience, K-Pop threw off the boppy and rushed the soiled tyke to the changing pad each time lest she spread the wealth to her other clothes. Too late. K-bao managed to sully one onesy, 3 changing sheets, one clean back, one K-Pop hand and about 40 wet wipes on top of the diapers themselves during this period.
Third, K-bao has officially declared war on the changing pad. When placed on it she screams like a punk rocker, and if she is kind enough to have mercy on our eardrums, she will at a minimum raise her pudgy legs in the air (see above), twist like a belly dancer and kick her feet out of our hands and into the dirty diaper at least once.
All of which she could have made up for had she gone to bed quietly without a fuss; instead, K-bao seemed intent on proving the foolishness of the architects who designed our apartments so close to our neighbors'.
What was that? Mommy's home? Hallelujah!
Update: So guess what our royal K did this morning during K-Pop's bottle duty? You guessed it. We are not talking here about leaking out the sides of an undersized diaper. This is overflowing up the back, with a very large and tightly clad diaper thank you, all over K-Pop's hands. Rise and shine, Daddy, rise and shine.
Fascinating, I'll have to try the Zulu clucking sounds... :)
ReplyDeletei love that a label for this post is "ungrateful"
ReplyDeleteI think, K-Pop, that when you are in charge of K-Bao, it isn't baby sitting but just, well, your turn to scoop up poop, since parents don't babysit but rather, ponder the ironic question of 'what happened to my life?' Friends and teenage neighbors get to babysit, we as parents just get to scoop up poop... All that teasing aside... As for that poop, there will come a day when it will firm up and won't shoot up her back. That day being when she starts solids, but that also means that the poop will become, umm, more grown up like, and believe it or not, stinkier.
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