Friday, July 24, 2009

"Help Me" - Guest Post


The below is a guest post from a good friend, Phat Baby Photographer, whom K-bao reached out to recently with an invitation to share a few thoughts. PBP has two dynamic kids, a smart and sassy wife, and about 15,000 lbs of professional camera equipment which he lugs around the Bay area and elsewhere taking sharp pics of toddlers and nuptials.
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Since my Phat Baby Photography Blog is supposed to be a professional, customer facing communication, there are certain things I can't write about. So an invitation to post on K-Bao's blog is liberating to say something like, "Help me." That's as in the help me you would see written in lipstick, on the mirror of some gas station's bathroom. That's my summary of parenting.

Nothing anyone tells you prepares you for the feat that lies ahead...or that your tender moments with a first child, will, for many, lead quickly to similar (and perhaps less tender) moments with a second or worse, fourth one. Yet it's really not the sleepless nights, constant feedings or the subsequent diaper changes that are difficult. For me, it's the fact that A and Z (my two kids) are a mirror of my soul. They reflect not only my priorities (how many things have I given up to be a parent), but also my most unfavorable attributes and habits. Let's take a simple and somewhat innocuous example. I like my bubbly, fizzy, slightly sweet Diet Coke with lunch. Truth be told, no one should be putting a mixture of phosphoric acid, glycerin and aspartame into their body. There are few parents who would substitute cola for breast milk (undoubtedly some do though) but as the kids get older they naturally start imitating parental behaviors and habits. So that puts me in quite a pickle - give up Coke, tell my kids one thing and do another or let them drink Coke. As they grow up the changes that I must make become increasingly difficult. What of drinking, drugs, relationships... I try not to think about it now and thank goodness they don't jump from being a baby to a teenager overnight, even if it feels like they do. Fortunately, I don't need to be a perfect father (I never will be) since someone already provided the ultimate example.

And part of what I love about being a photographer is capturing the tiny piece of perfection, whether it be a little hand, an innocent smile, or the glistening eyes, that is to every parent, a little bit of heaven here on earth.

Whitman

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